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Leadership from the Thanksgiving Kitchen

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I was on my mastermind call a few days before Thanksgiving and I was sharing the story about how the guys in our house are responsible for cooking thanksgiving dinner.  We decide on the theme, choose the recipes, do the grocery shopping and make the meal.  This includes integrating all of the guys coming for dinner into our routine.  It is a new team every year.

My friend commented that this sounds like a one day pop-up business with a vision, plan, team integration and execution.  I kind of laughed at his comment but it didn’t hit me until later that,

There are quite a few leadership lessons from our Thanksgiving kitchen that apply to the business world.

Here’s the background behind how the guys started cooking and how we of course had to turn this into a business operation.

The Background 

Some family traditions start with heartwarming moments. Ours? It started 35 years ago when my dad and I were inappropriately critiquing my mom's Thanksgiving dinner.

She was not happy. Her response? "Next year, it's your turn to cook"

The following year, I got a call. My dad said, "She was serious. If we want Thanksgiving dinner, we're making it."

That challenge launched three decades of the guys in our family planning and cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Last week marked year 34, and this annual tradition has become one of my valuable leadership classrooms.

The Three-Day Operation

This isn't casual. It's a production - think Turducken from scratch. Not dried out old turkey.  Prior to Thanksgiving week we choose our recipes and create a detailed grocery list.

  • Tuesday night: The guys go out for dinner and grocery shopping.
  • Wednesday: We make pies and prep ingredients.
  • Thursday: We cook dinner.

The goal? Serve an amazing dinner at 5:30ish. Over the years, this kitchen has taught me two crucial leadership lessons that apply just as much to running a business as they do to pulling off a complex meal.

Thanksgiving 2025 Time and Action Plan

Lesson 1: You Need a Plan and the Right People in the Right Roles

Every year, we create a detailed time and action plan. We know what we're trying to achieve, and we map out exactly how to get there.

But here's the key: we don't just assign tasks randomly. We take all the people we have available and pick the right people for the right jobs based on complexity and their abilities. Someone with knife skills gets precision work. Someone who loves making a particular dish gets assigned to it. We match capability to task.

Then we work together as people execute their assigned duties, coordinating and supporting each other throughout the day.

The business parallel is obvious: How many projects fail because there's no clear plan? How often do teams struggle because the wrong people are assigned to the wrong roles based on availability instead of capability?

A good plan and the right team in the right positions aren't optional. They're fundamental.

Lesson 2: As the Leader, It's Not About You Cooking

Here's the more personal lesson—and maybe the whole point of this post.

Over the years, as I've taken over planning the dinner, the recipes, the time and action plan, I learned something critical: As the leader, it's not about me cooking.

I love cooking Thanksgiving dinner. But the reality is, with this many people in the kitchen and this level of complexity in a very short period of time, it's really not about me cooking anymore.

This day is about me allowing all these great guys in the kitchen to cook a great dinner.

So here's what I did: I actually took myself off most of the time and action plan. I coordinate and oversee a couple of the meats on the smoker or fryer, but most of the cooking is done by others. I had to learn to delegate to the group.

My job as the leader on the day is to:

  • Put the right people in the right place
  • Make sure they have everything they need
  • Keep everybody on track and focused

That's it. It's not about me doing all the cooking.

The Real Leadership Lesson for CEOs

I think this is an interesting leadership example for other leaders: If you're a CEO, you can't do all the cooking.

You've got to set up those around you for success—with the right people doing the right things, a clear vision, and a solid plan. Your job is to support them.

And here's the bonus: you tend to enjoy life more.

I enjoy Thanksgiving day a lot more when I'm not trying to cook AND lead the team. When I'm just there supporting a bunch of friends and family cooking an incredible Thanksgiving dinner, I have more fun, they have more fun, and it turns out more successful.

Your Turn

You might think I'm nuts, but I believe this is an important reminder for leaders and CEOs: If you're trying to do all the cooking, there's no way your team can succeed.

As you reflect on last week's holiday, ask yourself:

  • Are you still trying to cook everything in your business?
  • Have you set up your team with the right people in the right roles?
  • Are you supporting them, or are you creating bottlenecks by trying to micro-manage or do it all yourself?

Thirty-four years later, I think we've proven it to my mom. The lesson wasn't just about making a good meal—it was about learning that real leadership means coordinating great people, not trying to do their jobs for them.

As a fellow business owner, I'm always up for coffee (virtual or in-person) to talk through how leadership and a cohesive team can impact your growth and your satisfaction as a business owner. Sometimes an outside perspective helps you see what you might be missing. Send me an email—no strings attached.